


Saving Me

by Queenofthebees



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Parent(s), Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 17:54:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18078194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofthebees/pseuds/Queenofthebees
Summary: Before she knew what was happening, Jon's shoulders had started to shake and his cheeks were already wet with tears by the time she had twisted onto her side to wrap her arms around him. His head nuzzled against her neck instinctively, his arms loosely wrapping around her waist and tugging her closer. She shushed him gently as he continued to take large gulping breathes between his sobs, her hand reaching down to rub soothing circles into his back. Without thinking, she turned her head a little and pressed a kiss to his hairline. Jon sniffed softly, cuddling closer and she went to do it again.Only, this time, Jon raised his head and her lips brushed his cheek instead. She felt her own heat in response as she wrenched herself back, ready to apologise. Except Jon was staring at her lips like they were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.





	Saving Me

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry anonymous prompter on tumblr, I know you wanted sex, but I couldn't really get it to work. Hopefully, you will like the hurt and comfort instead :p

The moment Sansa stepped into the house, she knew that something wasn’t right.

It was too quiet.

There was no sound of Robb and Jon playing their video games in the front room. No hint of Arya yelling at her laptop as she tried to finish her homework. Not even the sound of Bran and Rickon playing outside had greeted her when she had approached the front door.

She wandered through to the kitchen, finally able to hear soft murmurs of words and then, the unmistakable sound of sobbing.

“Hello?” she called out hesitantly as she pushed the door open.

The whole Stark clan were bunched around the table, creating a protective around Jon, who glanced up at her with a red, tear-stained face. Immediately, he looked down again, a fresh wave of sobs shaking his shoulders. Robb clapped his shoulder awkwardly, glancing at his mother for guidance on what to do as Catelyn pressed a cup of sweet tea into Jon’s hands.

“You can stay here Jon,” Ned commented softly. “For as long as you need to.”

Jon nodded slowly, his hands rushing up to cover his face.

“Jon’s sad because his mum has gone away,” Rickon told her with all the subtlety of a five year old. Arya winced and inclined her head, signalling for her to follow her out into the corridor.

“Lyanna was hit by a drunk driver,” she whispered quickly. “She was killed instantly.”

“Oh god,” Sansa gasped, her hand clapping against her mouth in shock. “Poor Jon,” she added once she had composed herself enough to lower her hand.

And to think she had been excited to tell everyone that she had finally dumped Joffrey. After months of enduring his taunts and hits, his trying to pressure her to sleep with him, she had finally mustered the courage to walk away.

She could save that news for another time though. Jon needed the family’s attention for now.

***

Over the next couple of days, Jon seemed to only retreat further into himself.

No matter how much her siblings knocked on his door, or even her father knocking once, he hardly ever came out except to use the bathroom.

His seat at the table remained empty during meals and the plates Catelyn left outside his room would often reappear with hardly anything touched.

Sansa knew that he was grieving but she felt that this couldn’t be helping him much. He needed to eat, he needed to get daylight. He needed to live.

As expected when she knocked on his door after school that Friday afternoon, he muttered for his visitor to leave him alone. She rattled the doorknob but as usual, his door was locked. He muttered again but instead of leaving, she turned with her back to the door and slid to the ground.

“I’m going to stay here until you answer,” she warned him, stretching her legs out to get comfortable.

She knew that when her parents got back from town, they would make her move. Or Arya would come back from her hockey and tell her to leave Jon be. Bran and Rickon were at the Reed’s house for the weekend and Robb was staying at Theon’s….or at least that was what he had told Ned and Cat. Sansa knew he was actually visiting his girlfriend Jeyne, whose parents happened to be out of town for a friend’s wedding.

The thought of her brother’s budding romance with Jeyne made her sigh. Joffrey had been a mistake, she had been blinded by beauty. And, a traitorous part of her whispered, trying to escape the feelings she had developed on Jon. She had went for Joffrey because he was the exact opposite to Jon. She should have been mature, not wasted her time and her feelings for fear of being rejected by her brother’s best friend.

It felt like hours that she sat there, waiting for some sign of him moving but there was still nothing. But of course, she thought bitterly, why would he respond to her when her siblings and parents had not prevailed? And then, the words tumbled out of her before she could stop them.

“I know we don’t spend much time together but, I do care you know,” she began, feeling it was important to state such a thing. “Especially after Joffrey, I’m very grateful to know a decent guy like you. Your mother was proud of you, you know, and she had every right to be. And my parents think you’re great too. And, well, I think you are, if that means anything.”

A soft sob echoed from behind the door. She turned at the sound, pressing her cheek against the wood.

“I want to help Jon,” she whispered. “Let me in, please.”

She heard the soft footsteps approaching, giving her time to scramble to her feet as the lock clicked. Jon’s face peered out and Sansa swallowed back tears at the sight of him. His skin was dull and tired, his hair was lifeless and matted and his eyes were so empty looking she wondered if he actually saw her at all.

“Oh Jon,” she sighed with pity.

“I can’t stand the thought of walking down that road,” he murmured, opening the door further, a silent invitation for her to come in.

She fought the urge to wrinkle her nose at the stale smell that came from being holed up in a room for days. She crossed the floor quickly and opened his curtains. Jon recoiled at the sudden brightness, cursing as he moved to shield his eyes. Sansa ignored him and lifted the window up.

“I know,” she said, turning towards him. “It must be hard seeing all the flowers and things.”

“Half of them never even knew her. And Dad had the audacity to send flowers. After the way he treated her, I just…” He trailed off with a growl and Sansa gave a sympathetic smile.

“Look, why don’t you jump in the shower, okay? I’ll clear up in here. You need to look after yourself, Jon. You know your mother wouldn’t want you to harm yourself.”

He sighed, staring at the wall for a long moment, and for a brief second, she feared he would refuse and go back to mourning behind a locked door. But then he nodded slowly and moved to his chest of drawers to take a pair of clean sleep pants and a t-shirt.

When he left again to go into the shower, she set about grabbing his strewn clothes and dumping them into the washing basket before she stripped his bed and added the sheets to the pile. She placed the basket outside his room, ready to take down to the washing machine before taking out some spare sheets for the bed.

By the time she had made his bed and started the washing, Jon had emerged from the shower and shot her a tiny, grateful smile. and she managed to muster one back.

"I'll make some tea."

***

Her mother had always been fond of the phrase "a cup of tea solves everything" but Sansa figured this was one exception to that rule.

For a few seconds, Jon had seemed to be alive, aware. He certainly looked better for having showered anyway. But now, after fifteen minutes of his staring into space with glassy eyes, a cup of cold tea between them, he looked to be slipping back into his grief again.

"Shall we watch a movie?" she asked softly, unable to stand the silence anymore. Jon blinked, looking at her as though she had magically appeared in front of him, but he remained silent.

Huffing, Sansa slipped out of her chair and grabbed his arm, pulling him away with an impatient 'come on'. His hand was warm in hers, his fingers tightening as she led him up the stairs, as if he were afraid she would let go. Once in his room, she nudged him gently towards his bed with a delicate push on his lower back before she turned and eyed up his DVD collection. In truth, she didn’t see any film that particularly appealed to her as she wasn’t one to watch action or horror. In the end, she opted for The Avengers, hoping it would keep Jon distracted enough. He shifted to the side, letting her crawl on the bed beside him and she settled back against his pillows. 

"Thank you," he murmured suddenly as she pressed the play button on the remote. Sansa shrugged.

"You would do the same for me," she replied simply.

"I hope that won't come for a long time," he said softly, his eyes tearing up again. 

Before she knew what was happening, Jon's shoulders had started to shake and his cheeks were already wet with tears by the time she had twisted onto her side to wrap her arms around him. His head nuzzled against her neck instinctively, his arms loosely wrapping around her waist and tugging her closer. She shushed him gently as he continued to take large gulping breathes between his sobs, her hand reaching down to rub soothing circles into his back. Without thinking, she turned her head a little and pressed a kiss to his hairline. Jon sniffed softly, cuddling closer and she went to do it again.

Only, this time, Jon raised his head and her lips brushed his cheek instead. She felt her own heat in response as she wrenched herself back, ready to apologise. Except Jon was staring at her lips like they were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew it was a stupid thing to do, but she had wanted to kiss Jon for as long as she could remember and from the look in his eyes, he wanted to kiss her too and so she did. For a brief second, he was still, right before his lips parted slightly beneath hers and his fingers dug into her hip, pulling her closer. She moaned softly as his mouth moved against hers, his tongue tentatively stroking across her lips, seeking permission which she gladly gave.

Without realising it, she was on her back, her hands wound in his hair as he covered her body with his own and kept kissing her as though his life depended on it. And Sansa returned his enthusiasm with equal vigour, her body arching up towards him in silent plea.

"Tell me to stop," Jon panted against her mouth, his hand still burning into her skin through her top. "Sansa, I want..."

"Don't stop!" she gasped, tugging him back down to her mouth. "Don't stop Jon! I want it too!"

He groaned, a desperate sound swallowed against her persistent lips. His hands slid beneath her top, tracing a searing path up to the edge of her bra. She could feel him hesitate again and reached up to grasp his hand, guiding it over her breast and squeezing it above the flesh, granting silent permission.

And Jon responded enthusiastically, his hand tracing over the shape of her curves and cupping gently. Sansa arched up with a soft mewl, grasping his wrist to guide him once more, leading his fingers beneath the cup.

Jon’s stuttered breath ghosted across her lips as he brushed his fingers against her nipple, his spare hand grasping the pillow by her head as he shifted on top of her. Her legs parted further, her skirt sliding up with the movement, and she felt her cheeks burning as she felt his erection press up against her core. Jon blinked down at her flushed face, his brows pinching together.

“We don’t have to - mmph!” She cut off his protest with another hard kiss, her hand pressing against his neck to keep him in place.

“Sansa,” he huffed, managing to wrench his mouth away. “Have you…are you…?”

She bit her lip and averted her eyes but she may as well have shouted her answer to his unanswered question with the way he released a long breath.

“Your first time should be special Sansa,” he whispered, already retreating away from her. Sansa reached for his arm to tug him back.

“Have you ever?” she asked softly, slowly raising her eyes to take in his own flushed face. He shook his head slowly. “So, why would it be different?”

“Because…it’s you,” he said with a humourless chuckle. “Losing my virginity to you is something I’ve already thought of.” He pulled a face, rolling away from her and she hated how she felt a sudden cold caress her skin where he had withdrew his warm body. “Sorry, that came out creepier than I meant it to.”

“No,” she murmured, reaching down to grasp his hand beside her. “I’ve thought about you as well.”

He turned his head towards her. “You have?”

“A lot actually,” she affirmed, smiling bashfully at him as he continued to stare at her. “I just want to make you feel better.”

“Sansa,” he sighed, his fingers squeezing her own as his spare hand reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I appreciate you wanted to help. But I wouldn’t want to have sex with you like this.” He rolled onto his side, letting his hand trail down to cup her cheek. “I’d want to take you out on a few dates, gift you with flowers and those Disney ornaments you collect. I’d want to cook you dinner and cuddle you on the couch.”

“That would be nice,” she admitted, smiling blissfully letting her hand settle on his hip as she rolled over to face him.

“Yeah?” he murmured, a small smile claiming his own lips. “Maybe we could catch a movie tomorrow?”

“Sure,” she replied, the words finally reminding her that the movie was still playing in the background and she cast it an amused glance before settling back down. “But I should warn you now, I don’t share popcorn.”

Jon laughed, the sound warming Sansa’s chest and making her smile with pride. “A girl after my own heart.”

“And I thought I already had it!” she teased. Jon smiled softly, his thumb stoking the apple of her cheek.

“You do,” he whispered, leaning forward to press a kiss to her temple which somehow made her feel more flustered than when he had had his hand on her tit. The thought made her giggle softly and she shifted her head up to kiss his lips.

“I’ll look after you,” she promised, resting her forehead against his. Jon shook his head slightly.

“What did I do to deserve knowing a girl like you?” he whispered fondly. Sansa smiled warmly.

“You were just you,” she stated simply.


End file.
